Sometimes I dream about growing up and being a real blogger. Somebody who not only has a blog, but also writes in it. It’s a dream I’ve tried to bring to life many times over the last year, but to no avail. For every time I sit myself down at the computer, the glory that is WordPad opened before me, dainty fingers hovering over the keys just waiting to spew forth some amazing tidbit of literature, doom strikes.

Usually in the form of a cat, female parental unit, or something really sparkly. I fucking love glitter, I can’t lie. It’s like some kind of twisted addiction where I experience a completely non-STD burning sensation through my whole body if I try to resist playing with things that shine. I’ve also been known to lick paint, but that’s neither here nor there.

I’ve now been given a blogging requirement of at least once per week, or I lose certain privileges like eating, breathing, and not being beaten with a wooden broom handle. In spite of this being done in a music-based blog, don’t hold out hope that anything spewing forth from the depths of my addled thought process will actually have anything to do with music unless it’s completely by accident. In fact, most of what I blog will probably be pulled from pointless and ridiculous news stories, because I like sharing my regular sources of poor stimuli.

Such as this beauty, wherein MICHAEL JACKSON’S FACE WAS SEEN IN THE CLOUDS.

No, really. It’s on CNN, it must be true. Who the hell am I to question trained journalists?

Apparently these clouds are called mammatus clouds, and are often seen in areas that have frequent severe weather. We here in Philly and New York don’t usually have severe weather, unless you count stray bullets or the constant rain of litter from the car windows of people who suck. So you can imagine the panic and mayhem that would follow such a sighting if we all weren’t too fucking lazy to do anything other than stare, take pictures, and make stupid comments like “It looks like fibroids.”

No, for the record, that puff of clouds did not look anything like Michael Jackson. In a fun twist of irony though, a journalist named Moos was the one covering a story on cloud formations named after the mammary glands.

This post was brought to you by the letters W, T, and F, and by the number Blue.

- Zap