So I’m sitting here drinking way too much coffee, writer’s block beating me over the head with life’s Magical Jackhammer of Go Get A Real Job, wondering what I can do to actually be productive in the world. I know I could do plenty of things, like write to my congressperson on important issues or put my degree to work and go do some publishable research on the human condition, or even just get up and clean the fucking house because God knows it needs it.

Instead I decided to trawl the Walmart website and order a new computer monitor. You may not think that’s very productive at all, but let me tell you, that pointless drivel spilling from my keyboard? Is still useless drivel, but now it looks utterly amazing on my brand new 20” monitor. This baby is sleek and black and sexy and has built in speakers I can’t figure out how to work, so there is no falling asleep at the keyboard on this sucker with those sixty thousand decibels of sound blasting your face off.

As I speak (type?) I’m watching Voltron: Defender of the Universe on my Netflix account and making a 30 Seconds To Mars calendar for my computer desktop for July, because I can fit a bunch of windows open at once. And it is delicious, my friends.

Obviously I’m completely failing at being productive, so while I’m doing nothing of use I may as well toss out mention of Cobra Starship’s upcoming new album, Hot Mess. So far I’ve only heard Good Girls Go Bad, and while the video sucked balls the song is pretty good. Very dance-worthy, like all of CS’s stuff. It kind of makes me want to pull on some fluorescent plastic boots, do a few lines of cocaine, and have a private party that will require intense clean up in the morning.

Okay, the Voltron Force is about to find the five lions, and quite frankly that’s more interesting than this since it’s animated and requires less coherent thought. I need to go let my brain leak out my ears as I relive my early childhood and ignore the fact that I was probably a really stupid kid.

Peace out.

- Zap